; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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