why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
