i think my mom watched the whole time
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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