But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
