So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
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