I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
