I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
