isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
