you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
