I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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