Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
