id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
