If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Randomize
