Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
