Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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