remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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