Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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