So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
