it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Randomize
