I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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