textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
