am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize