No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
