just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
