Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
