I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
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