I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
The dick lei will go down in squad history
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