i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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