Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
It's not a walk of shame if you run
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
