The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
