I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
