I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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