Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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