After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
