There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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