you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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