There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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