help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
