why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
