how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
