Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
