I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
