He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
