brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
