Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
