it wasn't lemon gatorade
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
