Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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