Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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