Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
