just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
