i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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