I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
