god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
