Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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