i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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