escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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