No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
