Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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