I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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