bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
now i know why i became what i already was.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
