Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
