In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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