i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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