dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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