it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
