Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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